Not All Help Is Holy: Discerning the Hand That Reaches Out.

Help is only as pure as the heart it comes from. The wrong hand up can become the weight that pulls you down.

Have you ever received help that left you worse than where you started?

In both life and leadership, help can be a powerful force, sometimes it’s a divine push forward, at other times it can become a costly detour. Not everyone who offers a hand does so with pure motives. That is why discernment is key.

So, before you accept assistance, ask: What is their motive? Are they here to elevate or manipulate?

In this week’s newsletter, let us explore five types of people who offer help.  Three will move you forward, and two might hold you back. Learn to identify them before their presence alters your path.

The Destiny Pusher

These are rare but priceless individuals. They see your potential even when you're unsure of it yourself. Destiny Pushers offer support not to be seen, but because they are called to serve in your journey. They give without strings, speak truth even when it’s uncomfortable, and help you step into greater purpose. Their motive is purpose-driven support, and they want to see you win because it is part of their own assignment.

The Silent Strength

They don’t always show up loud or with grand gestures. Instead, they are consistent, humble, and reliable. Their help may come through encouragement, resources, or simply presence during hard times.  You sometimes may not recognize them as they are void of ego and often do not stand out in the crowd. Their motive is loyalty and love. They genuinely care and expect nothing in return.

The Strategic Ally

These individuals see a mutual benefit in helping you and that is okay. The relationship is symbiotic; they grow as you grow. While their motives are strategic, they are honest, trustworthy and with integrity.  The come to add value to your journey. Their motive is mutual advancement, and their help is a win-win but it is still real great help.

 The Hidden Hijacker

They come disguised as helpers but carry covert agendas. The Hidden Hijacker uses their "help" as a form of control. Their support will come with invisible strings and emotional debt. They will remind you of what they did for you, quite often as leverage. Their motive is power and manipulation. They want to own your success story and steer your decisions.

The Glory Seeker

They offer help for optics and applause. It’s less about you and more about how good they look while helping you. The moment your situation does not benefit their narrative; they then disappear or worse they publicize your private struggle. Their motive is always about their ego. They help to be seen as saviors but not to truly serve.

So, think about this:

It is important to remember that not all help is harmless, and not all harm is immediate. Some assistance feels good in the moment but leaves long-term damage, creating dependence, sowing doubt, or rerouting your original vision.

The wrong helper can delay your destiny just as much as the right one can accelerate it. This is why discernment is not optional, it is essential. Knowing who is helping you is just as important as knowing why.

So, in a world where everyone wants a seat at your table, don’t just look at the hands that serve, watch the eyes that watch you eat. 

My final thoughts for you today, everyone need help in some way or the other; but always know that everyone offering help is either building your future or blocking your flow.

Before you receive, reflect. Before you accept, assess. Before you attach, observe.

This week, take inventory of those who have extended help to you. What category do they fall into? And more importantly, what kind of helper are you to others?

Be a Destiny Pusher. The world needs more of them.

Please, if this blog resonates with you, let's connect, subscribe and share, also send me a message here or on my website and let's not just go half the way, let's go the full journey together. You got this!